I feel like everyone has their ideals of how relationships, that is any kind of relationship: family, friend, romantic, acquaintance- should be properly maintained. And with each of these types of relationships, there is a specific level of responsibility. A certain amount of effort is put forth with how much you value that relationship. Relationships are the mutual agreement to let your guard down and allow yourself to be increasingly vulnerable with the other person(s) in congruence with the depth of the relationship. You are constructing a bridge from your heart to their heart- a passage way into your deepest most thoughts, feelings, and dreams. Relationships can be lovely and bring great joy to your life, but when they are not properly cared for, they can bring such despair that you wish you were the tin man from the Wizard of Oz- hollow on the inside. In short, building and maintaining a relationship is tough work! This is no new concept. Throughout history, you can see the rise and fall of nations due to a relationship gone sour. Everyone knows how difficult the task is in the architecture of intertwining the hearts and emotions of two people, and increasing that number, ensures that things are going to get tangled.
Today, two of my girlfriends and I had breakfast at Shea’s Express- catching up on the ins and outs of each other’s lives- mainly the relationships that have come and gone over the past couple of months. The conversation took some twists and turns, until eventually, it came to a bridge, where we began discussing the art of bridge burning. I have had my fair share of broken relationships in which I happily took the kerosene can and slathered that bridge down from end to end- then, with a vindictive smile, I would strike the match and torch it to the ground, n’er to return. I was an arsonist armed with bitterness. The pleasure I received from this fiery act was always short lived though. And actually, it brought me more trouble- in other relationships, as well as anguish within myself.
I recently read the quote, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” This resonated so loudly in me. I can testify, first hand, that this saying holds true. A woman will stop at nothing to appease her vengeful soul! A woman’s heart is not to be toyed with- it is to be cherished and cared for with the utter most delicacy.
Not too long ago I had a relationship go awry, where I felt as though I was an Aztec sacrifice and my heart was ripped out from my flesh still beating. Needless to say, fury welled up in me like water to a dam. Not saying that this execution was not for the best. Sometimes, relationships need to be severed, but that does not mean that it is any less painful or that the wound is not left gaping for all to see. And what makes matters worse is when your lives are so intertwined that all ground is common ground making relationships with mutual friends strained. So, what do you do? Well- I am still trying to figure that out, but one thing I know for sure, burning bridges shore to shore is not the answer La Roux. If I have learned anything from my past, it is the sweetness of reconciliation. Sometimes people need time apart to grow, and then later, can be brought back together as if nothing had ever gone wrong. This I know to be true. So, if you are like me and are bearing the burden of a broken relationship, put down the gas can and matches, and embrace the power of reconciliation.